Save Me
by ParisLove9
Summary: Three weeks after tobys death, Spencer is still horribly sad, Her friends try to cheer her up. But the only thing that will make her feel better is Toby.
1. Make me smile

Spencer sat there, tears in her eyes, a picture of her and Toby in hand, rocking back and forth in the chair Toby made her. Her phone rang over and over, but she really didn't want to talk to anyone, except for Toby but that was impossible because he had died three weeks earlier.

"Spencer" Aria slowly walked into Spencer's room, and sat down on her bed. Spencer didn't even look at her.

"Spencer, I know you are sad, but you can't sit here forever" Spencer turned her head, her face was red and puffy, tears were falling from her eyes. She grabbed onto the shirt she was wearing.. it was Toby's. The one he gave her the night in the motel, the night before they kissed for the first time.

"I miss you Spencer, I haven't seen you since... The funeral" Aria reached for Spencer's hand, but she pulled her arm back from Aria.

"That was two and a half weeks ago Spence" Spencer looked up,

"Don't call me that" Aria was confused, until she remember that Toby called her Spence. Then Aria chose to move past that, and try to get Spencer out of her house.

"Come on, how about we go to the brew?" Aria asked

"Toby" Spencer smirked "He lives.. I mean lived above the brew"

"Oh right, how about we go to Hanna's house" Aria smiled " We all miss you"

"Fine, but I'm not changing, and I'll probably keep crying while we're there" Spencer rubbed her eyes "haven't stopped in three weeks"

"Ok" Aria stood up and reached out her hand to Spencer, helped her up.

"Spencer, you once told me I was little but I was Big, do you remember that?"

"Ya" Spencer laughed a little "why?"

"You also said we were team Sparia, well just remember that we still are and I'm still here if you need to talk to anyone" Spencer quickly hugged Aria as tight as she could,

"Thank you" She whispered.

As the car pulled up to Hanna's house, Spencer looked over at Aria,

"Can we not talk about Toby"

"Of course we won't, we want to cheer you up not make you even more depressed" Aria said as they got out of the car. they walked up to the door, and rang the bell.

"Spencer!" Hanna exclaimed as she opened the door, "I haven't seen or talked to you in forever"

"Well that's what happens when your boyfriend dies" Spencer said, making everyone uncomfortable.

"well come in" Hanna smiled, letting them inside,

"Emily and Ali are up in my room" Hanna closed the door, and started upstairs.

Upstairs,

"Do you like this dress?" Ali smiled at Emily

"Yep" Emily leaned over and kissed Ali, Just a peck. "It looks perfect on you, like everything you wear" The both smiled at each other, not even noticing as the other three came in the room.

"Hello?" Hanna yelled "Get a room, this is mine" Ali and Emily laughed,

"Fine, no more kissing" Ali smiled, and got up

" How are you holding up, sweetie?" Emily and Hanna were on the bed laughing about something, and Aria was looking out the window.

"Spencer" Ali held her hand " are you ok?"

"I'm not crying for the first time in almost a month, so that's a plus" Spencer looked down,

"I'm sorry, I know what it's like to lose someone you love" Ali smiled " it gets better"

"Ya, well you haven't lost the love of your life, have you?" Spencer looked upset by what she said "I'm sorry"

" Its fine, I get it it's a difficult time" Aria walked over to them

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you think?" Ali glared at Aria, and walked over to the others.

"What's going on with you and Ali?" Spencer asked

"She is all pissed cause I told her I didn't believe her whole I'm nice now thing" Aria rolled her eyes.

"Aria, she has been threw a lot and she has changed a lot, you know that"

"well she seems like the same old Ali to me, she is with Emily, but still flirts with all the guys at school, She is mean and manipulative, and still has her secrets and wants ours, like she didn't learn anything from what Mona did to us all that time, I feel like I'm back in time to when Ali was the queen and we all had no spines" Aria looked really annoyed

"I get it, but Ali is one of us she went through everything with A I mean Mona, and she has the scars to prove it, It's our senior year and we shouldn't waste it fighting so apologize and make it right. You know Ali loves you and that she has changed" Aria walked up to Alison,

"I'm sorry about what I said"

"No need for that, I don't care that you said what you said" Ali smiled

" Then why are you mad"

" It's a secret" Ali smiled and all the girls looked at her like she was crazy, hadn't she learned her lesson?

Spencer walked out the door and to Hanna's bathroom, but her mom was in it so she waited.

"Spence" Emily walked over to her, "are you ok?"

"ya just have to pee" She smiled

" I loved Toby, he was a close friend and I am still in pain over what happened, you were in love with him you can't be ok" Emily seemed nervous

"You have Ali and Ali has you, Aria is happy with Ezra and Hanna and Caleb are in love... I'm alone, I have his truck and his shirt and lots of other stuff from him but I don't have him" Spencer started to cry again, " I go to sleep looking at his picture every night, wishing it was a dream, wishing I could go back and stop him from going to work that day cause then he wouldn't have fallen from a three story house roof and died, then he would be here with me" Spencer fell to the floor, Emily sat down with her,

"I'm so sorry Spencer, I know how much he loved you. when we hung out he talked about you all the time and he checked his phone to see if you called constantly and when you did his face would light up like the sun and he would smile so big, he loved you Spence"

"Thank you Em, that actually made me feel better, I knew he loved me but that made me remember how much" Emily wiped the tears from her face, and then from Spencer's face.

" He was my once upon a time" Spencer smiled "My happy ending, my safe place to land, and now I feel as though I have nobody, and like I'm alone and I have no ware safe, but I guess I'll always have you, and the other girls"

"We will always be here Spencer, If you need anything, don't forget that" Emily stood up and then helped Spencer up and they went back to Hanna's room. The rest of the night they watched trashy TV and ate junk food. Nobody talked about Toby anymore that night, But he was all Spencer thought about.


	2. Make me Better

He walked up to her and said

"I've missed you, Spence" Spencer couldn't help but smile

"Not as much as I have missed you" Spencer leaned over to kiss him, but then he was gone...

"Spencer!, Spencer wake up!" Aria yelled, as she shook Spencer trying to wake her up,

"Aria?" Spencer asked in her cute little sleepy voice

"Spence, you were talking in your sleep, you seemed scared I was worried" Spencer sat up and smiled at Aria

"Thank you" Spencer leaned over and wrapped her arms around Aria as tight as she could, "I was dreaming about Toby"

"I know you were" Aria burrowed her head into Spencer's neck. they hugged for awhile until Spencer noticed that they were the only ones there.

"Where is everyone?"

"Hanna had a date with Caleb, and Ali and Emily wanted to go to Ali's house and be there normal adorable couple selves" Aria Laughed "I offered to stay here till you woke up"

"Ezra doesn't want you with him?" Spencer joked

"No, he has a job interview out of town, he left yesterday and shouldn't be back till tomorrow"

"Oh" Spencer smiled "So I get you all day, I'm kidding you can leave, I should probably go anyways"

"No way, I'm not letting you go home and cry all day" Aria stood up, and then extended her hand to Spencer

"Thanks" Spencer said as she took Arias hand and stood up. they walked down stairs in silence, just holding each other's hands. As they reached the front door,

"Spence want to go for a ride?" Aria laughed

"Sure" Spencer smiled, Aria was happy that Spencer wasn't stopping her from saying Spence, her mind seemed to be off Toby.

As they rode around town, listening to the top 40 radio station, with the windows down, Spencer looked out the window at all the happy people, wishing she was one of them. Aria was driving and thinking about how all she wanted to do was make Spencer happy today.

"So we've been driving for almost an hour in complete silence, not going any ware in particular" Aria looked at Spencer for a second, "Do you want to go some ware"

"Yeah, can we go to the lookout point above rosewood" Spencer smiled at Aria, "Toby loved it there, and he took me there all the time, I want to say goodbye, and I think that place is right"

"Sure" Aria was a little scared of taking Spencer to a place she went with Toby but she wanted to make her happy, so she did. As the car stopped at the lookout point, Spencer opened her door,

"Can you stay in the car?" Spencer asked "I want to do this alone"

"Yeah" Aria smiled. Spencer walked to the exact place Toby took her and then she sat down,

"Toby" She already had tears in her eyes " I miss you, and I love you. I wish you were here.. with me, cause the thing that sucks is that I can't get over you being gone without you helping me. I need you more than anyone, I always imagined us being together forever, we were supposed to get married and have kids and everything. Once you asked me what our baby would look like if we had one and I said a baby with a six pack, but now I want to give you a real answer, we would have the best most beautiful baby ever, It would look like you with your eyes and your smile and it would hopefully be as smart as me." Spencer laughed even though she was crying " I hope you can hear me wherever you are because I really want you to hear all of this, I told you that you were my safe place to land last year, and that's still the truth, right now I feel like the one safe thing I had is gone, when I was with you I felt happy and protected, safe. but now I feel broken like I'm lost in the woods and I'm cold and scared I don't know what to do to make it better. I miss you, everything about you including just playing scrabble with you, I miss kissing you and holding you and being held by you, I miss hearing your voice and holding your hand, I really miss you and I really love you. I will see you again one day when I'm up there with you, I can't wait to see you again and hear your voice again, but it's going to be awhile, for now I'm going to say goodbye and I love you" Spencer couldn't move, tears poured down her face and she couldn't breath, she needed Toby.

"Spencer!" Aria yelled running over and falling to her knees in front of Spencer, "Oh my god are you ok? I knew I should never have brought you here"

"I'm fine, better that fine really" Spencer looked at Aria with her eyes all wide her face all red and covered in snot and tears, "I feel like Toby heard me like I finally got to tell him what I wanted to tell him all this time since he's been gone" Aria wiped Spencer's face, and pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm glad you're feeling better"


	3. Make me see HER

Two days had passed since Spencer said goodbye to Toby, and she seems to be better.

Spencer sat on Aria's porch waiting for her, they were supposed to hangout together, but Spencer had been waiting for an hour and Aria hadn't shown up at all. Until,

"Spencer!" Aria cried out, as she fell into Spencer's arms, "Ezra.."

"What happened?" Spencer rubbed her hand on Aria's back, holding her close

"He.. He left me" Aria pulled back, and looked at Spencer "He got that job, the one out of town and he said we just wouldn't work, he said adding distance to age and everything would break us. I know I shouldn't be complaining to you of all people.. considering, but your my best friend.. and I-"

Spencer interrupted "Aria, just cause Toby is gone and I have it worse in the boy department than you ever will doesn't mean that you can't complain and cry and yell and everything to me, I'm your best friend and I'm always here. like you said were team Sparia"

"I love you Spence" Aria wrapped her arms around Spencer as tight as she could, and Spencer was more than happy to return the favor.

"So tell me exactly what happened" Spencer said after the hug ended

"Well, I knew there was a chance he would get the job, but I was hopeful he wouldn't want it.. cause then he would have to leave me, I thought he loved me, And then when he told me he got the job, I could tell he was upset, I knew what was coming, and I was right. He said he couldn't live that far from me, he said he couldn't think of leaving me but he didn't have a choice, and then he dumped me, he said we wouldn't make it, that we already had drama and distance would be the breaking point, he was right cause I definitely feel broken." Aria was in tears, and Spencer laced their fingers together and wiped the tears from her eyes,

" Don't worry, I am here, we can eat ice cream and watch movies, or we can do our nails and gossip or we can go out any ware you want, come on what do you want to do"

"well all I really want to do is cry, but I don't want to bring you down" Aria looked away

"Aria, my boyfriend died last month I don't think I can be brought down any lower" Spencer put her hand on Aria's cheek and made her face her again, " I will do whatever you want" .

The next day Spencer and Emily where watching a movie,

"Spencer?" Emily looked over at Spencer " I.. I'm so sorry, I know I already said I was sorry but I feel like I have to again, I know how much you love Toby and I know what it's like to lose the one you love most, I went through all that pain with Ali when I thought she was dead. And.. I guess when someone you love dies it's so much worse than a break up, because you never get to move on, not really you will always love them and feel a bond to them and I'm just saying that I'm sorry that you have to feel that way"

"yeah, I guess so" Spencer looked away "I mean yeah I will always love Toby but I think I can love someone else one day right?"

"yeah maybe your soul mate is still out there"

"I think she is" Spencer whispered.


	4. Make me draw you

Six weeks had passed since Toby died, and Spencer was doing much better than she was at first. She leaves the house, and hangs out with her friends but mostly just Aria. Since Ezra left town, leaving Aria broken, Aria and Spencer seem to get along better together than any other friends. Today Aria and Spencer are at the park together, sitting in the grass, Aria is drawing on her sketch pad and Spencer is just laying there watching the sky.

"Spence?" Aria smiled and placed her hand on top of Spencer's

"yeah" Spencer looked up at Aria with a smile on her face

"Do you want to see my drawing" Aria turned the sketch book around so Spencer could see it

"Aria" Spencer sat up "Oh my god it's amazing" Spencer wrapped her arms around Aria "Thank you, it looks just like me"

"Thanks" Aria smiled "I tried to capture your beauty but I don't think that's possible, your too pretty." Spencer couldn't help but smile at what Aria had said.

"Well Spence, I have to go now.. it's almost seven and my mom wanted me home for dinner" Aria said as she got up, Aria then ripped the picture of Spencer out and handed it to her, "Here, for you"

"Thanks" Spencer smiled, as Aria started to walk away, but then Aria turned around and ran as fast as she could, falling into Spencer's arms.

"I love you" Aria burrowed her head into Spencer's hair, holding on as tight as she could

"I love you too" Spencer held onto Aria's small body with all her strength.

"Spence, please don't let go" Aria cried

"Don't worry, I'll never let you go" Spencer responded, unsure why Aria was acting this way, but honestly happy she got to hold her.


	5. Make me love you

Spencer was still hurting over Toby's death, but all her pain seemed to float away when Aria was around. Aria made her smile, laugh, feel normal again like nobody else could. Aria made Spencer happy. Emily, Hanna and Alison all tried to make Spencer happy but, when she is with them all she could think of is Toby and Aria and how they are the only people who could make her happy anymore. Spencer and Aria hangout every single day, they grow closer and closer, and Spencer is learning all these new things about Aria that she never knew before, like how she draws like a professional, and that her favorite animal is a hippo and her favorite color is purple, somehow Spencer never knew this. And Aria was learning all about Spencer too, like how Spencer sometimes wishes she could be Hanna, so she wouldn't feel so pressured to be smart and succeed at everything, or how she wishes she could go back in time and be nice to Mona, because now Mona is in Radley, and Spencer feels bad, that one Aria agreed with.

"I know that she did awful things to us...but she only did that because she was angry that we treated her like trash" Spencer said, as she and Aria sat on the porch of Aria's house, talking about Mona.

"Maybe we should be nice to her now" Aria smiled "Like we could go visit her"

"Yeah we need to apologize for the way we acted around her back then" Spencer leaned over, and lied her head on Aria's lap.

"And tell her that we don't blame her for the way she acted" Aria brushed her hands through Spencer's hair, intertwining her fingers in every strand. Spencer closed her eyes, loving the way Aria's hands felt in her hair, loving the way they felt when they touched her skin more. Aria was lost in Spencer, she loved playing with her hair, and she loved feeling her soft skin on her palms, she loved the way Spencer smelled of coffee so strongly you would swear she had just had some, when she hadn't for hours.

"I love this" Aria whispered, but Spencer was fast asleep.

"I love you."


	6. Make me your doll

Spencer and Aria sat on a couch in Radley sanitarium. They sat in silence, waiting for Mona to come into the room. Spencer was so scared to see Mona..yes she was sorry about all that had happened and she hoped Mona would be too, but mostly she was scared of Mona. Mona had tortured her for an entire year, and she was having a hard time thinking of her as Mona and not A. Aria was lost in her thoughts, the night before when her and Spencer where sitting on her porch she told Spencer that she loved her, luckily Spencer was asleep at the time, and yes even if she was awake Aria could get away with saying she meant as friends...but that isn't how she felt, she loved Spencer and it wasn't as friends.

Aria and Spencer both got wide eyes when they saw Mona walking towards them, she was wearing a hospital gown and looked sick. Mona sat across from the girls in a chair.

"Hello" Mona smiled "Now why in the world are you two here?"

"Oh..Um we wanted to talk to you" Spencer responded

"I assumed that..I meant why" Mona rolled her giant eyes.

"We wanted to say sorry" Spencer whispered

"Sorry?" Mona's face went from annoyed to confused in just one second.

"Yeah" Aria smiled "About how we treated you in the past"

"Oh sweet little Aria" Mona smiled "Nothing is in the past..You have no idea what you are talking about."

"Mona" Spencer exclaimed "We were so mean to you, and we are so sorry about that. We were stupid and we didn't stand up for you and we should have."

"Thank you" Mona smiled "That is very nice of you."

"So you except our apology?" Aria asked

"Of course I do Aria" Mona answered

"Great, so we can put everything behind us now" Spencer smiled

"Don't be silly" Mona laughed "Nothing is behind us, just wait my little dolls...so much is going to happen from here on out." Mona smiled evilly as she got up.

"We aren't your dolls!" Aria screamed "We're people!" But Mona didn't care, she just walked away.

Aria burst out crying, and Spencer pulled her close.

"Don't worry Aria" Spencer whispered "I won't let her hurt you."


	7. Make me angry

The next day Aria and Spencer had decided that they had to tell the other girls what Mona had said to them, even if they would be unhappy with their decision to see Mona in the first place. They had told all of the girls to meet them at Spencer's house at noon and it was almost time. Aria was sitting on the couch, and Spencer was pacing in front of her.

"Spence" Aria whispered "Sit down, please calm down"

"How?!" Spencer yelled "That little monster threatened us, she called us dolls"

"I know" Aria took Spencer's hand, stopping Spencer from pacing. Spencer could feel her skin burning the second Aria's small fingers touched her, she didn't know why, but the feeling seemed the same as the one she used to have with Toby. Aria's big eyes met with Spencer's, she could feel Spencer's eyes burning into her, she felt as though Spencer was looking deep into her soul and it was impossible to look away.

"Aria-" Spencer was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. She turned around, dropping Aria's hand quickly and walking towards the door.

"Hey" Spencer smiled as her eyes met Hanna's

"Hey babe" Hanna laughed, pulling Spencer in for a hug.

"Don't mind them, they have been all over each other since I picked them up" Hanna motioned towards Emily and Alison who stood behind them, holding hands and smiling at each other.

"Shut up" Emily laughed, rolling her eyes at Hanna.

"Come on in" Spencer giggled, as she lead the others into the living room. Hanna sitting across from Aria on the sofa along with Emily, Alison sitting on the floor beside Emily's legs. Emily almost immediately starting to play with Alison's hair as Alison giggled softly. Spencer made her way to Aria and sat beside her, so close that their legs touched and Spencer felt her heart flip when they touched.

"So, why did you call us?" Hanna asked "I had a date planned, you kind of messed it up"

"Sorry" Aria smiled, Spencer's lips curling up when her eyes caught sight of Aria smiling.

"Is it important?" Hanna asked

"Yes" Aria responded "Very important, having to do with-"

"Emily, Alison!" Spencer announced loudly "Can you guys take a break from whatever that is and listen or should I separate you?"

"Sorry Spence" Alison smiled shyly

"We can behave" Emily bit her bottom lip.

"Good" Spencer rolled her eyes slightly

"So, Spence can you just tell them?" Aria asked

"Yeah" Spencer smiled awkwardly "We saw Mona"

"They let her out?!" Alison exclaimed, sounding more scared than any of the girls had heard her before.

"No" Aria said, Hanna then leaning in

"So what, you went to the house of crazies?" Hanna asked, her eyes staring daggers at Spencer and Aria.

"Really Han?" Spencer smiled slightly "I wouldn't have put it like that, but yes we went to Radley"

"Why?" Emily asked

"Because" Aria reached her hand over and placed it gently on Spencer's thigh. Spencer was sure that Aria had burned her, it felt so hot and painful, but she didn't want it to ever stop. "We treated Mona like she was garbage, she deserved an apology"

"Like hell she did" Alison yelled "That bitch almost killed Hanna, she could have killed all of us"

"Yeah" Emily squeezed Alison's shoulder "I don't think A deserves anything from us"

"Your right" Spencer agreed "we shouldn't have gone"

"What happened?" Hanna asked

"She called us her dolls, she said that it wasn't over, that nothing was in the past and that there was a lot more to happen" Spencer let a tear escape her eye, but Aria wiped it away with her soft hand.

"Dolls" Hanna looked down, tears starting to trace her face. "I thought she was my friend, how was I so fooled."


	8. Make me cry

"I can't believe you two!" Alison screamed as she paced in front of Aria and Spencer. Emily standing besides Alison and Hanna sitting motionless while tears traced her cheeks. "How could you let that little demon back into our lives?!"

"Really?" Spencer rolled her eyes "This whole thing is your fault to begin with!"

"Spence that's not fair" Emily said as she took Alison's hand.

"She's right Em, Ali's the one Mona wants revenge on. She's the one who made Mona so angry" Aria whispered as her fingers intertwined with Spencer's.

"We all did this!" Emily yelled "Don't act so innocent now, you never defended Mona and you sure as hell never liked her. So what makes you any better than Alison!?"

Aria looked down as she let tears escape her eyes and trickle down her soft pale cheeks gently. Spencer wrapped her in her arms and pulled her close. "It's okay Aria, don't cry"

"No it's not" Hanna muttered through her tears "It's not okay, you should be scared and you should cry. Because Mona will be let out one day and she will come back for us. They won't keep her locked up forever, and she's capable of murder so no its not okay Spence. It's fucking terrifying." Hanna stood up and ran out the front door, Alison and Emily following close behind her.

"That went well" Spencer sighed

"Could've gone worse" Aria laughed slightly as she looked into Spencer's deep brown eyes.


End file.
